Friday Fun #6

Fitness Program for Writers (or anyone with a desk job)

As a writer, I spend many long hours sitting at my desk. But, as everyone knows, such a sedentary lifestyle is not good for your physical health.

So, I created a fitness program just for writers (or anyone with a desk job) that can be done while you work. There’s no need for expensive gym memberships or finding time for strenuous workouts with an already overloaded schedule. It’s simple, free, and anyone can do it. And with a little practice, you can customize these exercises to suit your own personal needs.

Ready? Let’s begin…

  1. Weight Lifting:  Repeatedly lifting a 12oz coffee mug from desk to lips and back. Do this exercise several times throughout the day and evening for firm biceps.
  2. Cardiovascular Workout:  Hitting the delete button by accident and having all your work erased an hour before your assignment is due. This really gets your heart pumping and blood circulating as you jump up and down while screaming “NO”.
  3. Stretches: Reaching for the computer paper on the shelf behind you and then reaching to put it in the printer. Make sure paper and printer are on opposite sides of your work area for an equal stretch.
  4. Reflexes: Trying to catch yourself before falling out of your chair from reaching for the paper or printer. This is especially important if your chair has wheels.
  5. More Reflexes:  Trying to catch the cat before he runs across your keyboard and knocks your coffee over.
  6. Toning Work:  Replacing the ink cartridges in your printer.
  7. Squats: Getting up and down from your chair for frequent bathroom breaks. A sign you are doing well on your weight lifting (see #1).
  8. Frequent Massages:  Scratching your head while staring at a blank screen. This promotes good circulation and helps stir up new ideas, or daydreaming.
  9. Knee Rotations:  Swiveling side to side in your chair while talking on the phone, wishing you were still working on your writing. This can be combined with the Frequent Massages (#8). Then it is considered “multi-tasking”.
  10. Breathing Exercises:  Blowing all the cat hair off of the desk, or sighs of exasperation. Either one will work, so long as you inhale and exhale deeply.
  11. Walking/Jogging: Daily trips to the mailbox looking for that big fat check from your publisher for your latest bestseller, or your fan mail. I don’t get to do this one, as I don’t have a bestseller or fans yet, but I go once a month to collect bills (firestarter).
  12. Endurance: Repeatedly getting up and doing this all over again each day because you are a writer. It’s who you are.
  13. Yoga Position: Giving our self a frequent pat on the back to maintain positive reinforcement of why we do this. Other benefits include, getting to those hard to reach spots when they itch.
  14. Posture and Balance: Sit nice and straight with your head up, preferably with a high-back chair. This stops your head from rolling to one side when you fall asleep, thus reducing the likelihood of falling out of your chair. (Safety first!)

If you follow this simple exercise plan, you probably still won’t achieve that rock-hard sculpted body (like all the fitness ads show). But it keeps you moving, instead of staring at a blank screen in a catatonic state, which could lead to someone calling an ambulance to report you as dead. (That would be a little embarrassing.)

Well, that’s it for this week. I hope everyone enjoys a fabulous weekend, and Happy Fathers Day to all the awesome Dads! – Amber

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